Attention Promo Department: You’re Fired

Nothing getb you fired up for hockey season like a dancing transvestite swine mascot

Nothing gets you fired up for hockey season like a dancing transvestite swine mascot

Every day, she works in a man’s world.  Every night, she dances through the universe that is her dream.  Huh?  A Pittsburgh woman with two jobs as a welder and an exotic dancer wants to get into ballet school.  Umm, WHAT?  Just in case you weren’t aware, that is the tagline and plot from 1983’s “Flashdance”.  Pretty much screams hockey, right?  I couldn’t think of …well anything at all that better identifies my hockey club.  In fact, I’m SOOOO motivated by the exotic dancing welder that I’m going to dance right into a universe that is my dream.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:

http://hurricanes.nhl.tv/team/console.jsp?catid=684&id=24520.

This is worse than a car crash.  This is worse than a train derailment.  This is worse than a 3-way midair jetliner collision.  First of all WTF is that …thing?  A pig?  Wtf does that have to do with hockey?  Wtf does that have to do with a hurricane?  Secondly, WTF is it doing?  WTF would you let anybody see this?

Thank you to Ray Emery and the rest of the Flyers for shutting these ice-pigs out this evening.  They should never score another goal so long as ice exists.  This is one of those things that once its out there, you just can’t take back.  I’m scarred for life.  I’ll never look at the Carolina Ice-Pigs the same again.  Welcome back Ray, it’s been too long.

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Comments

3 Responses to “Attention Promo Department: You’re Fired”
  1. Kenny says:

    Seriously? A hockey story? Who gives a crap?

  2. Juan Escalante says:

    There has never been a cool mascot in the history of sports……seriously, name one. Whoever reads this….name one….and I will tell you why you are a loser for saying whatever you said. Adios.

  3. Morgan says:

    Well, no matter how “friendly” you try to make him look, the Sonics Sasquatch is gonna scare the britches off of some kids. And of course as we all know, there is nothing better than sweet, innocent, child tears… (It’s why we watch Little League All-Star games.)

    So… at least he’s butch?? But when he’s “off the court” in his “street clothes” he looks like the biker from the Village People rather than what I’m sure was intended to be a cool dude in some leather…

    So to recap… he scares small children- WIN
    Makes adults giggle with shame for him- FAIL

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