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Embattled Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas pled guilty Friday to felony gun possession.  Arenas was originally cited for the locker room incident with teammate Javaris Crittenden, where both player allegedly pointed guns at each other.  Arenas has since tried to chalk all 4 guns he had in the locker room and the entire incident up to a practical joke.  The charge can carry up to 5 years in prison, and the plea is an attempt to get community service and probation instead.  Moreover, its a desperate move to save his $80 million dollars from the Wizards, who would love nothing more than to terminate the contact that has hamstrung the franchise, and start over.

Some news outlets made a giant deal out of it, and perhaps it is to the general public.  To us here at notespn, its business as usual for the NBA.  A league that has gone away from the classy spit and polish of Magic, Bird, and Jordan to the me-first, self-centered thug/gangster that the NBA has become.

Arenas (self nick-named “Agent 0”) falls into that category. And it might be a bigger deal if he was a big star on a big team, but Agent 0 is long removed from the day he hung 60 on the Lakers.  Certainly, if this were Kobe or Lebron, it would be shattering.  But this gives David Stern, which regularly rules with a Stalin-esque iron fist minus the genocide, a chance to firmly discipline a talented player without any real detriment to the league’s popularity or its marketing.

This is why players like Dwight Howard and Chris Paul are so refreshing.  They take us back to the glory years of the NBA, the 80’s and the 90’s.  Charismatic, engaging, and making the league fun.  Players that help out in their community and do charity work.  No promotion of “being hard”, having guns, bitches and ho’s.  No “making it rain” in the club or treating a hooker like your own personal sex puppet while your wife and 3 kids can’t wait for loving husband/father to get back from the 3 game road trip.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Conversely, this is why players like Allen Iverson, Ben Wallace, Anthony, Stephen Jackson, Ron Artest, and (any of the rest of the players vs. fans brawl from the Palace a few years ago) the like are such pains in the ass…players who’s sense of self is greater than the good of their team, players like Kobe Bryant used to be, not that long ago.

We’ll see how it plays out, and without any jail time, the Wizards reportedly will have a tough time getting out of the rest of the $80 million they owe to Arenas.  But we can rest assured of one thing.  Players like Chris Paul and Dwight Howard are few and far between, and until the culture changes, we can rest assured more happenings like Arenas will continue.

Let’s just hope next time, the perps don’t take the safety off.

The Electric Adventures of Cushman and Frankenhooker

This week, the loving union with a solid, well built foundation grounded in trust and years of bonding will be finalized.  No, not Charlie Weis’s endorsement deal with Hometown Buffet.  Lamar Odum and Khloe Kardashian’s wedding license will become official this week.  Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian can finally become one…we call it Lardashian.

The delightful details of their gala wedding have been widely published, and conversely the details of their prenuptial agreement have been kept on the down low. However, TMZ is reporting that it was just signed yesterday, and they have uncovered three major details. (1) Lamar’s recently signed contract of 4 years and $33 million is untouchable (A deal in which he lost almost $2million a year, see our story under the “Hoops” tab, “O-Dumb”).  However, Khloe has found a way to circumvent that, with (2) Lamar having to fund a stable amount in a joint account. So this money from his contract, or at least some of it, will no doubt find its way into Khloe’s paws.

In addition, (3) Lamar is also to purchase a large, luxurious home.

But where she really puts his ballz in her Louis Vuitton is if the two split.

Radaronline has reported that in case of the pair partying ways, Khloe demanded,a flat sum of almost 500,000 dollars for every year they were married; 25,000 dollars per month in general support; their new luxurious house and a new luxury car at the end of every lease cycle; 5000 dollars a month for shopping; 1000 dollars for beauty care and courtside Lakers tickets for the Kardashian family.

Its always awesome to ask for seats where you can sit for 3 hours, at least 41 times a year, merely feet away from your ex-spouse.  What a perfectly healthy request by Khloe, if a divorce were to take place.

Possible thought of Lamar Odom: "What the Hell did I just do?"

However, unconfirmed reports suggest the numbers, in the event of the divorce, may be off.  Stay tuned for updates (However TMZ, as usual, appears to have the sources and be right on the money with their story).

Guess you better not be screwing around like some of your teammates do on the road (checking into the team hotel under a false name and having your road hooker in there), ALLEGEDLY.

With a very wealthy family, 2 successful reality shows, and paid appearances, it wouldn’t seem she would need all this extra monetary compensation.  I mean, considering they knew each other almost a whole month before tyeing the knot.  I think Kanye said it best in his song Golddigger.  If the title doesn’t give it away, google the lyrics.

Make Sure To Check Out the Other Adventures of Lamar O-Dumb (Parts 1 and 2) in The Hoop Section!

Lardashian

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Clearly, so is booty, and lots of  it. That is the great reward soon to be officially claimed by Lamar Odom, as he nears wedded bliss with reality TV star Khloe Kardashian. Khloe is the big sister (physically, not age wise) and certainly makes for an interesting pairing with the low-key Odom. Largely regarded (in more ways than one?) as a nice guy, Odom seems to have fallen head over heels with the youngest Kardashian, so much so that on Sunday September 27th they will make it official, after only a month of dating.

We’ve seen athletes descend into oblivion after entering into a volatile relationship with a female star (most notably Mike Tyson after he began dating Robyn Givens) and Laker fans pray that is not the case here. Although Lamar is obviously far more mentally stable than Tyson (ganja and bags of sweets tend to make one very grounded) it certainly has all the makings of, if nothing else, an “eventful” union, as Kardashian’s 2 reality shows and constant attention of the paparazzi are opposite of Odom’s off court, low-key demeanor. Content to fire up the “electric lettuce” and keep to himself, such activities will be extremely difficult to continue with Kardashian and her family, all of whom cannot and seem unwilling to stay out of the public eye.

Speaking of the public eye, one thing that has plagued the Kardashian family is the controversial goings on surrounding the family. From Khloe’s DUI, to the televised “spoiled-rich-girl” fights between sisters, to Sister Kim’s sex tape with wanna-be- star Ray J, the Kardashians are not exactly the Brady Bunch. But some people (Let’s hear it for the depraved!) are hopeful that Khloe follow in her sister Kim’s footsteps, and make a sex tape. However, unlike the cinematic achievement created by the much smaller Kim and Ray J, this would be the gargantuan version of recorded Kardashian coitus. So if it happens, here’s to some big lovin’, Lamar. In fact, as long as you keep producing on the court, Laker fans don’t care whatever you produce off of it. Some might even encourage it.

Feel free to post your favorite Khloe-Lamar sex tape title below, of course complete with a candy reference…

Man, I need a blunt!

In a negotiation that can only be described as masochistic, Lamar Odom re-signed with the Lakers, for less money than he would have gotten just a few weeks prior.  Seeking the 5 year, $45 million deal, Lamar rejected the Lakers’ first offer of 4 year, $36million and 3 year, $30 million.  Once it became clear to him (as it was to the rest of the world at the start of the negotiations) that no other team could get close to the Lakers’ offer, Odom settled on a lower offer from the Lakers at 4 years and $33 million, making $1-2 million less a year than the original offers, due to ignorance and greed.

Lamar should thank his lucky ganja, because he has been the model of consistent inconsistency. Finding a championship club to pay him over $8 million a year in a bad economy is fortunate to say the least, and that’s an understatement.  You never know what you are going to get from one night to the next. One night he gets you 19 points and 11 boards, the next night its 6 points, 2 rebounds and 1 of 5 from the line. The fact that he thought he could get more than 9 million a year for 5 years anywhere is further testimony to his brainless ways. When the competition that isn’t as good offers you 30-35% less per year, who was he trying to kid? Here’s a transcript of what his negotiations with Dr. Buss might have sounded like:

Lamar: Yeah, I know we won last year. And I know you’re offering me 3.5 million more a year. And I know I have a house and a life and the best weather in the world here.
Buss: So what’ the problem?
Lamar: I just think I need to be paid what I’m worth, and I think I deserve a better offer from you.
Buss: But Lamar, the next highest bid is 3.5 million a year lower. Over 5 years that’s 17.5 million you would lose and probably never win a championship.
Lamar: Exactly…you feel me now? So make a better offer and I’m yours!
Buss: What The F#$%…

Although Odom has been disciplined for smoking the electric lettuce, he still continues to champion its use, and it is clear that he has completely smoked himself retarded.  I doubt I would ever let Lamar or his agent advise me in the fine art of negotiation.  Lamar and his agent wanted to play poker with a poker player, so let this be a lesson to anyone else trying to do the same.  Don’t call a poker player’s cards, if your cards aint s#$%.