Hey You Kids! Get Off My Lawn!

Sunday started out great for Tennessee Titan’s owner Bud Adams.  Breakfast with the commissioner, then on to the game, where his Tennessee Titans whooped the Buffalo Bills, 41-17.  However, old Bud got a little carried away toward the end of the game, and proceeded to let the fans from upstate New York know just we he thought of them, and their team.  Adams stood up, and proudly displayed his long, bony middle fingers to the crowd (including several gyrating gestures and the “Double F-U”) 5 times. Sunday’s classless display didn’t go unnoticed:  Commissioner Roger Goodell fined Adams $250,000 for his activities.

And you thought Zombieland was just a movie

As people journey into their Golden years, many times dementia sets in.  This is usually accompanied by a regression to childlike behavior.  We’re not sure if indeed, Adams is having one of these spells, but it may be cause for mild concern…amongst those that count themselves as giving a sh$t.

The other side of the argument is that Bud Adams is just a good old fashioned American bad ass, who doesn’t give a F$%& what anyone thinks.  This argument would seem to have some weight as well, when you consider he had breakfast with Goodell that morning, and actually watched the game with Goodell in the suite where he let his birds fly later on (Goodell had vacated the suite by that time, but was still I the viewing areas of the stadium below).  Adams displayed the ultimate “get off my lawn you a$$hole kids” approach, every bit the cantankerous old fart you love to hate.

But isn’t the fine a little excessive?  Goodell, since taking over for Paul Tagliabue, has made it clear he will make examples out of anyone perceived to desecrate the integrity of the league.  Ask Mike Vick and Pacman Jones.  Vick was only hit with a $10,000 fine for the same gesture to fans.  Perhaps the gesture is proportionately based on a scale of the offender’s wealth, considring there is no doubt Adams can afford it.  But before we’re quick to BBQ the old man, lets just remember that if any of us were fined in a similar fashion for the same gesture, we probably would owe several million after a few hours.

Though this was a team photo, Cable always had the mug shot down.

Tom Cable is the perfect Raider.  After allegedly breaking Assistant Randy Hanson’s jaw in an argument last August, more disturbing accounts were just uncovered last week, documenting Cable’s violence towards women.   Cable’s ex wife and ex girlfriend both told ESPN about alleged abuse doled out at the hands of Cable, and they have the paperwork to prove it.  Additionally, his 2^nd wife, while declining an interview with the network, did file in official court documents abuse allegations.  That’s 4 people that we know of, with paperwork and/or photos and hospital bills to prove his onslaught.

The National Organization for Women is calling for the NFL to suspend Cable.  Although I admittedly have never been a fan of NOW, it’s hard to admit they don’t have a case here.  After all, people’s lives are at stake.  In fact, forget NOW, because its not just women being attacked.  After his vicious attack on Hanson this August, it’s clear we need an organization dedicated to all human rights.  I’d like to see Amnesty International or Green Peace get involved at this point. Hell, call in S.W.A.T, or the Marine Corps, because those may be the only forces strong enough to withstand Cable’s fury, and protect the vulnerable. The NFL is now investigating Cable’s alleged abuse.

This Referee has not been seen or heard from since.

Hanson told Napa police, “From my blindside, Tom Cable threw me from my chair and into a piece of furniture that a lamp sat upon,” said Friday. “He was screaming, ‘I’ll (bleeping) kill you! I’ll (bleeping) kill you!’ And I have no reason to believe he wouldn’t have killed me if they hadn’t pulled him away.”  He also said, “If my head would’ve hit a different way, I might be dead right now.”

We’re not sure if we have to put the word “allegedly” in this story describing the incidents, because there is quite a bit of recorded, documented evidence and paperwork to show Cable’s abuse.

But seriously…what more can you say about Cable’s impressive resume? Never before has there been a pedigree so deserving, a degree of symmetry so perfect between Coach and the organization and fan base. It’s no secret that NFL teams have to hire increased security when they play the Raiders.  Maybe it’s just because of Tom Cable.  But who could forget the news footage of a Pittsburgh Steelers fan being bloodied and left unconscious-and possibly for dead-in a game in 1990? What about several years ago, when a Raider fan and Charger fan got in an argument in a bar, and the Raider fan went Mike Tyson and bit his ear off?  What about the footage of a Raider fan stabbing a Charger fan?  I remember being at a game in the early 90’s in which a large, muscular biker took on 2 gang bangers.  After initially losing the scrum, the gang bangers were able to wrap and tie the biker’s long hair around a pole so he couldn’t get away, and they got the upper hand and proceeded to bludgeon him.  Blood flowed profusely…and children screamed.

Fun for the whole family!!!

The only question is where is Cable’s inner “yes man”?  Typically, abusers don’t take kindly to orders.  That goes against the dominant-which is obviously Cable’s role-in the dominant/submissive world Cable seems so perfectly involved in. As we know, the only way to keep a Raiders head coaching job, especially with continued exhibition of failure, is to be Al Davis’s puppet.  So perhaps Cable does have a softer side.  A side where, after his team gets embarrassed in front of 50,000 prisoners/convicts/fans, he dresses up in a leather g-string and leather mask with a zippered mouth hole, and gets kicked in the scrotum by the Godfather in the white jump suit.  Plus, it’s a release for Davis, as he gets to get out his aggression on the worst football team of the last 5 years.

This can be the only reason Cable is still under Davis’s employ.  However, we welcome your theories.  Please post them below.

UPDATE:  Hitting 65% on the season…we REALLY like some match-ups this week.  Win some money and use our picks for week 10!

UPDATE: 9-4 last week.  For the year, we are about 67%, which is better than Vegas odds makeres, because we pick EVERY game with/against the spread.  Scroll to the bottom for our week 8 predictions!

14-2 in Week 3 against the spread.  That’s right. and 87.5 winning percentage. The previous week I was 67%.  Scroll to the bottom to see our week 4 picks, and make some money!!!  Use them to go win some money and by your woman that cubic zirconium she’s been wanting.

Miami @ Atlanta -4

Kansas City @ Baltimore -13

Denver @ Cincinnatti – 4 1/2

Philidelphia -3 @ Carolina

Minnesota – 3 1/2 @ Cleveland

Jets @ Houston -4

Detroit @New Orleans -13

Jacksonville @ Indianapolis -7

Dallas – 5 1/2@ Tampa Bay

San Francisco @ Arizona -6

St. Louis @ Seattle -8

Chicago @ Green Bay – 3 1/2

Washington @ New York Giants – 6 1/2

San Diego -9 @ Oakland

Buffalo @ New England -11

UPDATE: 8-7…not exctly an Oracle.  Lets see how we do week 2.

WEEK 2

Carolina at Atlanta -6

Houston +7 @ Tennessee (Houston is 6-2 in their last 8 overall ATS)

St. Louis @ Washington -10 (St. Louis is 2-6 in their last 8 ATS vs. NFC)

New Orleans -1 @ Philidelphia

Oakland + 3 @ Kansas City (KC is 3-10 ATS in their last 13 Home games)

New England -3.5 @ New York Jets (NE is 9-3-1 ATS in their last 13 meetings)

Arizona + 3 @ Jacksonville (Jville is 1-7 in their last 8 home games ATS)

Cincinnati@Green Bay -9.5 (GB is 8-2 ATS in their last 10 home games in Sept)

Minnesota – 10.5 LOCK @ Detroit (Detroit is 1-8 ATS in their last 9 home games)

Tampa Bay @ Buffalo -5

Seattle – 1.5 LOCK@ San Francisco( Seattle is 9-3 ATS in their last 12 vs. NFC West)

Pittsburgh -3 LOCK @ Chicago (Pittsburgh is 7-3 ATS in their last 10 overall)

Cleveland @ Denver -3 (Cleveland is 0-8-1 in their last 9 ATS on grass)

Baltimore + 3 @ San Diego (Baltimore is 9-2 in their last 11 ATS vs. AFC)

New York Giants -3 @ Dallas( NY is 20-7 ATS in their last 27 games overall)

Indianapolis -3 LOCK @ Miami (Road Team is 8-2 ATS in their last 10 meetings)

UPDATE

67% winning percentage in week 2…that’s what we’re talking about.  However, only 2 of 4 on locks.  Some tough matchups this week, we’ll be happy if we have the same success

Indianapolis + 2.5 LOCK @ Arizona

Carolina @ Dallas -9

Miami @ San Diego -6 (SD is 12-5 in their last 17 home games ATS)

Pittsburgh -4@ Cincinatti (Cin 3-10 ATS in their last 13 vs. AFC)

Denver -2 @ Oakland (OAK is 8-21 ATS in their last 29 home games)

Chicago +2 @ Seattle

Atlanta @ New England -4.5

Tennessee @ New York Jets – 1.5

Baltimore -13.5 @ Clevelnd (CLE is 0-9-1 ATS in their last 10 games on grass)

Green Bay -7 LOCK @ St. Louis (STL is 6-15 ATS in their last 21 home games)

New York Giants -7 @ Tampa Bay (NY is 22-6 ATS in their last 28 road games)

Kansas City @ Philidelphia -9

San Francisco @ Minnesota -7

Washington @ Detroit + 6.5 LOCK (Home team is 6-2 ATS in their last 8 head to head)

New Orleans -6 LOCK @ Buffalo (New Orleans is 7-1-1 ATS in their last 9 overall)

Jacksonville @ Houston -3.5 (JAX is 2-15 ATS in their last 17 on grass)

Week 4

14-2 Last Week.  Spread the word, go to notespn.com!!!

Detroit + 10 @ Chicago (underdog is 8-2 ATS in their last 10 meetings)

Cincinnati -6 LOCK @ Cleveland (Cle is 1-10-1 in their last 12 overall ATS)

Seattle @ Indianapolis -10.5 LOCK (Sea is 6-21 in their last 27 ATS in October)

Oakland @ Houston -9.5 (Hou is 7-3 ATS in their last 10 overall)

Tennessee +3 @ Jacksonville (Jax is 1-8 in their last 9 home games ATS)

New York Giants -9.5 LOCK@ Kansas City (NYG is 21-5 ATS in their last 26 road games)

Tampa Bay + 7.5@ Washington (Was is 1-7-3 in their last 11 games ATS overall)

Baltimore +2 @ New England (Bal is 18-5 ATS in their last 23 overall)

New York Jets +7 @ New Orleans

St. Louis @ San Francisco -10 (Stl. is 2-7 ATS in their last 9 games overall)

Buffalo -2 LOCK@ Miami (Buf is 7-2-1 ATS in heir last 10 meetings)

Dallas -3 @ Denver (Den is 7-19-1 in their last 27 home games ATS)

San Diego @ Pittsburgh -6.5 (Favorite is 6-2 ATS in their last 8 meetings)

Green Bay @ Minnesota -3.5

UPDATE

Week 4 saw our heads get a little too big, and after two impressive weeks we dropped down to .500, going 7-7.  We’re still ahead of the game though.  Hopefully we’ll bounce back in week 5.

Cincinnati @ Baltimore -8.5 (Bal is 18-6 in their last 24 overall ATS)

Cleveland @ Buffalo -6 (Cle is 1-8-1 in their last 10 overall ATS)

Pittsburgh -10.5 @ Detroit (Det is 2-9 ATS in their last 11 home games)

Washington +3.5@ Carolina

Oakland @ N.Y. Giants -16 (NYG are 5-2-1 in their last 8 home games ATS)

Dallas -9 @ Kansas City

Minnesota -11 LOCK @ St. Louis

Tampa Bay @ Philidelphia -16 (Phili is 8-3 ATS in their last 11 games overall)

Houston @ Arizona -5.5 (Ari is 6-2 ATS in their last 8 games on grass)

Atlanta + 2.5 LOCK @ San Francisco

New England -3.5 LOCK @ Denver ( Denver is 6-13 ATS vs. a team with a winning record)

Jacksonville @ Seattle

Indianapolis -4 @ Tennessee

New York Jets -2 LOCK @ Miami (NYJ are 20-5-2 in their last 27 meetings ATS)

UPDATE: WEEK 7-  We took a week off after a lackluster albeit winning week.  Back to the grind.  We are still hitting 65%!  Spread the Word!

San Francisco @ Houston -3

San Diego _4.5 @ Kansas City (Kansas City is 4-12 in their last 16 home games ATS)

New England -14.5 LOCK @ Tampa Bay (Tamp Bay is 1-7 in thier last 8 games ATS overall)

Indianapolis -14 LOCK @ St. Louis (STL is 5-15 in their last 20 games ATS vs. a team with a winning record)

Green Bay -9 @ Cleveland (Cleveland is 3-8-1 in their last 12 overall ATS)

Minnesota -5.5 @ Pittsburgh

Buffalo @ Carolina -7

New York Jets -6 @ Oakland (OAK is 15-35-1 ATS in their last 51 home games)

Atlanta -4 @ Dallas

New Orleans -7 LOCK @ Miami (New Orleans is 15-5-1 in their last 21 games overall ATS)

Chicago @ Cincinnati PICK ‘EM

Arizona @ New York Giants -7 (NYG is 17-5 ATS vs. a team with a winning record)

Philidelphia -7 LOCK @ Washington (Philidelphia is 2-9-3 in their last 14 games overall ATS)

UPDATE:  9-4 last week, back in the saddle!  We benefitted from great teams playing bad teams, and even though they were laying a lot of points, they covered.  Lets see how week 8 does.  We are hitting about 66-67%, better than most odds makers!  Spread the word and tell them all to go to www.notespn.com!!

Denver @ Baltimore -3 LOCK (Bal is 9-3 ATS in their last 12 home games)

Houston -3 LOCK @ Buffalo (Hou is 7-3 ATS in their last 10 games vs. AFC)

Cleveland @ Chicago -14(Cle is 3-9-1 ATS in their last 13 games overall)

Seattle @ Dallas -10 (Dal is 7-2 ATS in their last 9 games vs. NFC)

San Francisco @ Indianapolis -13 LOCK

St. Louis @ Detroit (Off the Board)

New York Giants PICK @ Philadelphia

Miami @ New York Jets -3.5 LOCK (Miami is 6-20-2 ATS in their last 28 meetings)

Jacksonville +3 @ Tennessee

Oakland +17 @ San Diego

Carolina @ Arizona -10 (Ari is 9-2 ATS in their last 11 games overall)

Minnesota +3 @ Green Bay (Underdog is 16-5 ATS in their last 21 meetings)

Atlanta @ New Orleans -10 (NO is 7-1 ATS in their last 8 home games)

UPDATE WEEK 9: 6-6 last week, which when that’s one of yur worst weeks, you must be doing a pretty good job.  But we need to bounce back, and finish above 65% this year, which is better than vegas.  And we pick EVERY game.  Let’s go to week 9.

Washington @ Atlanta -10 LOCK (WASH s 3-12-3 ATS in thier last 18 games overall)

Arizona +3 @ Chicago (ARI is 9-3 ATS in their last 12 games overall)

Baltimore -3 LOCK @ Cincinnati (BAL is 12-4 ATS in their last 16 games vs. AFC)

Houston +9 @ Indianapolis (HOU is 6-2 ATS in their last 8 road games)

Kansas City @ Jacksonville -6.5 (KC is 2-7 ATS is their last 9 games overall)

Green Bay -10 @ Tampa Bay (TB is 1-12 ATS in their last 13 games on grass)

Miami @ New England -10.5 LOCK

Carolina @ New Orleans -14 (NO is 7-2 ATS in their last 9 home games)

Detroit @ Seattle -10 (SEA is 9-4 ATS vs. a team with a losing record)

San Diego @ New York Giants -4.5 (SD is 2-6 in their last 8 games overall ATS)

Tennessee @ San Francisco -4 (SF is 5-1-2 in their lat 8 games ATS overall)

Dallas @ Philadelphia -3 (PHI is 9-3 in their last 12 games on grass)

Pittsburgh -3 LOCK @ Denver (DEN is 7-17-1 in their last 25 home games ATS)

UPDATE: Week 9…OUCH! 5-8, the only saving grace is hw well we have done all year. 65% and counting.  Lets go to week 10.

Atlanta -1 LOCK @ Carolina (Atlanta is 15-7-4 ATS in their last 26 meetings)

Tampa Bay @ Miami -10 (TB is 2-8 ATS in their last 10 games overall)

Jacksonville @ New York Jets -7 (Jax is 3-8 in thier last 11 games vs. AFC ATS)

Detroit @ Minnesota -16.5 (Detroit is 2-6-1 ATS in their last 9 meetings)

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh -7 (Pitt is 7-2 ATS in their last 9 home games)

St. Louis @ New Orleans -13.5 LOCK (NO is 11-3-1 in their last 15 games ATS overall)

Buffalo @ Tennessee-7.5 (Tenn is 8-3 in their last 11 games ATS vs. a team with a losing record)

Denver -4 LOCK @ Washington (Denver is 6-2 ATS this year)

Kansas City @ Oakland -2 (KC is 3-7 ATS in their last 10 games overall)

Seattle @ Arizona -9 (Ari is 7-2 ATS in their last 9 games vs. NFC)

Dallas -3 @ Green Bay (Favorite is 7-1  ATS in their last 8 meetings)

Philadelphia -1 @ San Diego (Phi is 14-6 in their last 20 road games ATS)

New England @ Indianapolis -3 LOCK

Baltimore -11 @ Cleveland (Bal is 8-0 ATS vs. a team with a losing record)

UPDATE:  Week 11…”Boomer, I’m Melting”.  This is not good.  We are now down  in the low 60% range, which is still as good as Vegas, and we pick every game.  Why?  Because we have the balls.  Hopefully we will rebound in week 11.

Indianapolis-2 @ Baltimore

Washington @ Dallas -11 (Was is 1-5-2 in teir last 8 games vs. NFC ATS)

Cleveland @ Detroit -3.5 (Cle is 3-11-1 ATS in their last 15 games overall)

San Francisco @ Green Bay -6

Buffalo @ Jacksonville -8.5 (Buf is 3-10 ATS vs. a team with a winning record)

Pittsburgh -11 @ Kansas City

Seattle @ Minnesota -10.5

Atlanta @ New York Giants -7

New Orleans -10.5 @ Tampa Bay (New Orleans is 11-4-1 ATS in their last 16 games overall)

Arizona -9 @ St. Louis (Ari is 8-2 in their last 10 games vs NFC)

San Diego -6 @ Denver

New York Jets @ New England -11 (NY is 4-9-1 ATS in their last 14 meetings)

Cincinnati -9 @ Oakland

Philadelphia -3 @ Chicago (Phi is 12-5 in their last 17 games ATS vs. NFC)

Tennessee @ Houston-4

Right or Wrong Wing Ownership?

In the last several weeks, ultra-conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh appears to be ramping up his plans to make a bid to buy the NFL franchise St. Louis Rams.  This pursuit of ownership by Limbaugh wouldn’t be a big deal if it weren’t for the racist comments he has made in the past.  Aside from his parody of “Barack the Magic Negro” on his radio show, Limbaugh is most notably associated-as far as sports is concerned-with his comments about Philadelphia Eagles’ quarterback Donovan McNabb during a 2003 ESPN broadcast.  Insinuating that McNabb had gotten undo credit and was overrated just because he was Black, Limbaugh stated, “The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. They’re interested in black coaches and black quarterbacks doing well … McNabb got a lot of the credit for the performance of the team that he really didn’t deserve.”

Regardless of if you agree with Limbaugh, think he says the outlandish things he does just for reaction to drive his ratings and make money, or if he actually is a walking abortion (something he would REALLY take offense to), the question of character in ownership once again rears its head.

At what point does that hammer drop in the court of public opinion?

Click here to view the embedded video.

On one hand, is it the league’s job to safeguard its own character and public perception? After all, just because one owner says racist things doesn’t make the entire group of owners racists.  Take for example, widely considered the worst owner in sports, the Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling.  His alleged comments and behavior have impugned his own character more than actually compromising the integrity of the league.  And the first amendment allows him to make these statements, even in the face of overwhelming public scrutiny.

Sterling has been involved in several litigations with regard to his alleged racist comments over the years, ranging from building the Clippers team with “poor black boys from the South and a white head coach” to housing discrimination.  Sterling, a real estate mogul, who owns many properties, has many alleged indiscretions.  A nonprofit organization filed a lawsuit alleging that Sterling was discriminating against minorities with regard to his housing.  The suit also claims that Sterling did not want to rent to Hispanics and allegedly stated, “Hispanics smoke, drink and just hang around the building.” He also allegedly said, “Black tenants smell and attract vermin.” Conspicuously, or perhaps not so conspicuously, the case was settled out of court.

And let’s not forget former Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott, who has a veritable smorgasbord of alleged and documented racial slurs (too much to write here, but Google her and you will have a field day) regarding Asians, Jews, Gays, and African Americans.  Most notably, Schott said Hitler, “was good in the beginning, but went too far.” And in a 1998 story published by the Cincinnati Enquirer, Schott referred to her own players Dave Henderson and Eric Davis as “million dollar niggers”.  These incidents make her many others -like allowing her dog Schottzie to defecate on the field at Riverfront Stadium- benign in comparison.

On the other hand, the old adage that two wrongs-or in this case several- don’t make a right, can take hold.  The sports world has had smatterings of racial commentary over the years, so is it now time to take a stand and refuse Limbaugh ownership?  There are reports suggesting that some players have commented that they would not play for a Limbaugh-owned team, and 24 of the 32 NFL owners have to vote “yes” to allow a new owner to purchase.  Should Limbaugh pursue this further and make an official bid, the ownership vote will serve as a benchmark on where the NFL, the most popular league in the United States of America, stands with regard to political correctness and its determination in its own public perception.

I think he gets less than 8 votes and gets denied.  What do you think?

Loyalty? Respect? Such antiquated notions!

Brett Favre wants you to understand.  It’s not his fault all this retirement hullabaloo is going on.  I mean, what’s he supposed to do?  He’s always maintained if he feels he can still play, then he will play.

Brett Favre wants you to feel for him. His very public emotion, going back to what was supposed to be his last game on December 31, 2006 in which his Packers got beat down in front of their home fans, has never been hard to find.  Surrounded by cameras and press, he wept openly as he told reporters “If today’s my last game, I want to remember it.  It’s tough.  It’s tough.  I’ll miss these guys, I’ll miss the game”.

So if indeed, he is the victim in all of this, why in the Holy Hell did he return to a team that is the greatest rival of his old team?  A team where he spent 16 years, and earned 3 MVP awards and a Super Bowl.  A place that is widely considered the most tight-knit football community in the country.  A state in which people name their children after him.

There are many answers, but surely one of the most obvious has to be his addiction to publicity.  His inability to leave the limelight.  When he got to Green Bay in 1992 he wanted thing his way pretty quickly.  But after 14 years in Green Bay, Favre told ESPN in January 2006, “If I had to pick right now and make a decision,” he said, “I’d say I’m not coming back.”

In the first part of this hokie-pokie, he announced he would return to the Packers for the 2006 season.  However, it didn’t take him long to stir up more controversy, by saying he could envision playing elsewhere in the future.  Which brings us back to the Dec 31 game, and public weeping on national television that really accelerated the talk of Favre’s demise and the era of Aaron Rodgers to begin. After having the entire state of Wisconsin and his team mates and management in limbo, Favre would commit to yet another season.  This season would be one of his best, leading his team to the NFC championship, and within 3 point of returning to a 3rd Super Bowl with him at the helm.

However at its culmination, Packer nation returned to Limbo.  This time, in yet another public display, Favre announced he didn’t have “anything left to give, and bawled as he “officially” retired in March 2008.  Certainly, after this back and forth for what was going on 2 years, he wouldn’t put the franchise in Jeopardy again.  A guy can’t go on television, with all the major news networks cutting away from their normal coverage and going to it lie, unless the guy really means it. I mean, he has to have some sort of credibility at some point, doesn’t he?

Sure enough, just a few months later, Favre asked for his release from the Packers and stated publicly that he wanted to play for another organization in July of 2008.  Eventually, a deal was worked out where he was reinstated and traded to the New York Jets, where he and the organization had a lackluster season.  This prompted another retirement, which he made official in February of 2009, stating there was no way he would ever play again.

But did anyone believe it?  He reiterated in April and was adamant that he was not coming back, but we’ve all seen this movie before.  The Jets, exposed to his drama for a little over a year, happily gave Favre his unconditional release.  And guess what?  He acknowledged once again just two months later that he was “interested” in playing again, and there was only one team he wanted to play for.

Bitter Brett? Besides his apparent need to be the center of the football world, you would have to feel that Favre’s motivation is to enact some sort of vengeance on his former organization, who was tired of his holding the entire organization hostage so he could have his way.  The packers made the decision to move forward with Aaron Rodgers in 2008 (Rodgers was the ultimate in the definition of “good soldier” by the way) and Favre just couldn’t stand it.  What better way to exact revenge than to return in the uniform of the most hated rival?

Tired of this blog?  Good.  Now you know how we all feel being subjected to a guy that continues to manipulate the press and professional organizations whenever he is “feeling it” or not “feeling it”.  For God’s sake, have some grace and walk away.  And certainly, don’t return to a team that is the arch rival of the place that made you everything you are. We’ll see how he’s received November 1, when he and “his” Vikings go into Lambeau Field.

If that’s hard for you to imagine, just imagine one of the following scenarios:
-Ted Williams retired, and came back the following year and said, “I only want to go to one place, and that’s the New York Yankees.”
-Bo Schembechler retires, and says a few months later, “I still hunger for a national championship, and I feel my best shot at getting it done is in Columbus with THE Ohio State University.”
-Magic Johnson retired, and came back the following year and said “I still feel I have a little left and the only team I want to give it to s the Boston Celtics”.

That last one just made me throw up in my mouth….

A Wholesome Victim

The Alleged Perp

True, Shawne “Lights Out” Merriman is large, menacing, and can most likely wrap his palm around Tequila’s diminutive cranium. True, he delights in the savaging of opposing quarterbacks, and any other ball carrier on the other team.  He even celebrates their demise with his infamous “Lights Out” dance.  But Merriman has a history of charity involvement, and has only been in trouble once in his NFL career.  That was not for assaulting anyone or being a bad citizen, but for using steroids.  He was suspended 4 games and made a public apology.

Tequila, meanwhile, has been anything but.  She can be seen regularly on her MTV reality show “A Shot at Love”, seasons 1 and 2, a show in which she searches for a very special someone.  Both women and men are free to go on televised dates, make out sessions, hot tub parties, and all other pleasures of the flesh.  There was even a scene in last season’s episode where she flirts with her date’s family at the dinner table, including making out with her date.  Everyone became so aroused; they all went for a group “hot tub”.

Tequila just can’t wait to find that special someone through this Olympiad of debauchery via self-imposed humiliation. So before anyone rushes to judgment, lets remember how Tequila loves to assume the position, on television no less, and from what the average viewer can gather, quite a few of them.

It didn’t take long for the Twitter war to begin, and Tequila was quick to launch the first volley.  She even has God on her side, stating that “God saw everything and God will always know the truth.”  Merriman, in his explanation for the incident, said, “I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided,” he says. In an attempt to refute Merriman’s explanation, Tequila has said she is allergic to alcohol.  However, a spokeswoman for the Sheriff’s department told reporters that Nguyen was intoxicated, so perhaps she was lying already.  Tequila was inspected by paramedics and no injuries were found, and Merriman wasn’t charged with anything.  If a 6’4”, 265lb linebacker forcibly restrains a 4’11”, 100 lb woman, even without trying, it’s going to leave a mark.

If Merriman is guilty of anything here, its bad judgment for associating with someone of Tequila’s caliber.  If indeed she is welcoming all comers (term used loosely) in a show celebrating the art of the orgy, a chance for monogamy here is a long shot at best.  And maybe Merriman understands that this was a short term thing, but no matter how good she is in bed (or even swinging from a chandelier or whatever turns him on); disassociating himself from nefarious characters that would compromise your future is never a bad thing. Just ask Michael Vick.

UPDATE

Unconfirmed reports have suggested that the argument derived out of jealousy on Ms. Tequila’s part.  Allegedly, after clubbing, several women went back to Merriman’s house…not just Ms. Tequila.  Merriman, an equal opportunity sexual employer, ended up in his bedrrom with two other women.  Obviously, the “Two’s Company and Three’s a Crowd” philosophy didn’t apply to Merriman, taking the stance of “Two is cool but Three’s a Party” platform.  Apparently Tequila walked in on the flesh-fest, and was ever so generously invited to join in.  This is what is known as “Three is a Party But Four is a Damn Fiesta!”.  Not being the sole desire of Merriman’s affection, Tequila became upset and declined the invitation, refusing to become the 3rd cheese in a 3 cheese-and-beef sandwich.  This jealousy inspired her to claim Merriman forcibly restrained her and then filed a citizen’s arrest.

On September 11th, District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis put some stank on it (something Ms. Tequila is usually known for doing) and dropped all charges against Shawne Merriman.  Dumanis cited there was not enough evidence that Merriman ever committed any crime.  I am also confident she read our story here, so thanks Counselor!     Always happy to help!