Man, I need a blunt!

Man, I need a blunt!

In a negotiation that can only be described as masochistic, Lamar Odom re-signed with the Lakers, for less money than he would have gotten just a few weeks prior.  Seeking the 5 year, $45 million deal, Lamar rejected the Lakers’ first offer of 4 year, $36million and 3 year, $30 million.  Once it became clear to him (as it was to the rest of the world at the start of the negotiations) that no other team could get close to the Lakers’ offer, Odom settled on a lower offer from the Lakers at 4 years and $33 million, making $1-2 million less a year than the original offers, due to ignorance and greed.

Lamar should thank his lucky ganja, because he has been the model of consistent inconsistency. Finding a championship club to pay him over $8 million a year in a bad economy is fortunate to say the least, and that’s an understatement.  You never know what you are going to get from one night to the next. One night he gets you 19 points and 11 boards, the next night its 6 points, 2 rebounds and 1 of 5 from the line. The fact that he thought he could get more than 9 million a year for 5 years anywhere is further testimony to his brainless ways. When the competition that isn’t as good offers you 30-35% less per year, who was he trying to kid? Here’s a transcript of what his negotiations with Dr. Buss might have sounded like:

Lamar: Yeah, I know we won last year. And I know you’re offering me 3.5 million more a year. And I know I have a house and a life and the best weather in the world here.
Buss: So what’ the problem?
Lamar: I just think I need to be paid what I’m worth, and I think I deserve a better offer from you.
Buss: But Lamar, the next highest bid is 3.5 million a year lower. Over 5 years that’s 17.5 million you would lose and probably never win a championship.
Lamar: Exactly…you feel me now? So make a better offer and I’m yours!
Buss: What The F#$%…

Although Odom has been disciplined for smoking the electric lettuce, he still continues to champion its use, and it is clear that he has completely smoked himself retarded.  I doubt I would ever let Lamar or his agent advise me in the fine art of negotiation.  Lamar and his agent wanted to play poker with a poker player, so let this be a lesson to anyone else trying to do the same.  Don’t call a poker player’s cards, if your cards aint s#$%.

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