The New Logo of the St. Louis Cardinals. Photo with "Gimp" gag ball in mouth not available.

After a dominating performance by Adam Wainwright, the Cardinals’ Matt Holliday choked away game 2 of the NLDS.  This type of choke has rarely been seen before, except perhaps in bondage films.  Then again, Dodger fans can only describe it as a gift.  This gift was so generous; in fact, it reminded me of the first time my dad bought me a hooker for my birthday.  I love turning 15… it was a great year!

This loss can only be seen as irrecoverable.  The Cardinals are now down 0-2, both of their best pitchers have thrown, and now have to win 3 straight.  More devastating, however, is that they are completely demoralized over a game that was, literally, in hand.  Their left fielder’s to be exact.

The Dodgers offense had been shut down all day by Adam Wainwright.  And, after closer Ryan Franklin got the first 2 outs in the 9^th, it was a foregone conclusion the game was over.  And as the game ending fly ball approached Holliday, you could feel the worry of Dodger fans going back to St. Louis tied at 1-1.

Thanks for the gift, Mr. Holliday!

But the game didn’t end.  Holliday misplayed the ball, allowing James Loney to get to 2^nd base, where he was pinch run for by Juan Pierre.  Case Blake, with 2 strikes on him, works the count full and walks.  Ronnie Belliard singles to center to tie the game, and you could almost, nay, you could feel what was coming next.  Franklin walked Russell Martin to load the bases.  Then, Mark Loretta, 0-15 in his career against Franklin, singled to center for the victory.

In one of the best examples of sore loser statements ever witnessed, Wainwright’s sparkling performance was tainted by his excuse making.

“He lost the ball in the 50,000 white towels shaking in front of his face,” Wainwright said. “It doesn’t seem really fair that an opposing team should be allowed to shake white towels when there’s a white baseball flying through the air. Dodger blue towels — how about that?”

Obviously, Wainwright isn’t aware that Chavez Ravine is in gangland, and blue towels would no doubt spark violence.  The organization has chosen to remain gang-neutral, opting for the white towels.

But who is the “goat” exactly?  Holliday might be the head goat, but certainly the case can be made that there is a herd.  How about Ryan Franklin, the stud closer who walked 2 batters and allowed 2 more hits after Holliday’s gift.  If he gets one of those batters out, the game is over.  How about the Cardinal’s offense, which is averaging 2.5 runs per game.  How about Tony Larussa, who, once it was clear Franklin’s head was gone, stayed with him, instead of bringing in a pitcher who is used to these pressure situations and has pitched very well since the Cardinals acquired him, John Smoltz.

Certainly, most of the blame will go to Holliday, but the Cardinals have done their part to be down 0-2.  Some times you see balls bounce a certain way, certain calls go a certain way, etc.  Call it destiny, the baseball Gods, whatever.  After game 2’s debacle, it is clear that the powers that be have penciled in the Dodgers to win this series.  The way the Dodgers won went beyond fundamentals.  You dug yourself a big hole Cardinals.  Hope you have a rope long enough to climb out.  It appears, however, that the rope is only long enough to allow you to hang yourselves.

Minnesota Twins vs. New York Yankees

With the Yankees firmly owning the best record in baseball, they elected to have recently crowned AL Central Champion Minnesota Twins take a late night flight to New York, hoping to capitalize on their fatigue.  It’s going to work.  Without Justin Morneau, their best power hitter and operating on all heart, the Twins look to be nothing more than the fat girl you talk to in order to get to her hot friend.  Get all your lumps out, pretend you care, work her over, and prepare for the one that’s going to make you King.  In this case, Boston or Anaheim.   The Twins will keep it close in most games, but the Yankees are just too awesome.  In a short series with CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett, the gutty little Twins’ luck and grit will run out.  The Yankees are 7-0 against the Twins this year, and its broom time in the Big Apple again.  Look for Alex Rodriguez, unlike any other post season, to have a big one.

Yankees in 3   

Colorado Rockies vs. Philidelphia Phillies

With the late season surge by the Colorado Rockies, no one is talking about the defending champions.  The Phillies boast a top 3 offense and two great starting pitchers.  Well, one of those hasn’t been great lately, but look for Cole Hamels to rebound.  J.A. Happ is great at #3.  It’s going to be a tough series.  The Phillies lead the National League in home runs total bases, and runs scored.  But the Rockies have 40 come from behind victories, and they will be going up against a Phillies bullpen (their Achilles heel) that is suspect at best and will serve the game up on a silver platter at its worst.  Brad Lidge has been choking harder than Jenna Jamison engulfing a “flesh-sickle” lately.  In the end, playing in two hitters’ ballparks, we just don’t see the Rockies being able to out slug the Phillies, but it should go down to the wire.

Phillies in 5

St. Louis Cardinals vs. Los Angeles Dodgers

The cards are 29-11 in their last 40 vs. the Dodgers.  It will be a tight series, but apparently Manny cannot hit the ball if he’s not on the juice anymore.  Look at his stats after he came back from his suspension.  He’s hitting .255 with only 10 home runs and 34 RBI’s since the all star break, and .143 against St. Louis this year.  And the first two Dodger pitchers leading off are Randy Wolf and Clayton Kershaw?  No one even knows who’s starting game 3?  If you can convince me a rotation of Randy Wolf, Clayton Kershaw, and Mystery Starter # 1 can go into a 5 game series and take out a rotation of two Cy Young Contenders in Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright, as well as a #3 that won 15 games in Joel Pinero, I’ll convince you that Oswald acted alone.  Oh, and the Cards also have the best hitter in baseball.

Cardinals in 5

Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

The Angels will find a way to sneak a game, but the first little mess up will destroy their psyche and ruin them for the rest of the series, just like it always does.  Every year it’s supposed to be different.  And every year it’s the same result.  Until the Angels prove otherwise, it’s not prudent to pick them in the series.  The key will be the late innings.  If the Red Sox have a lead after 6 innings, you can pretty much forget it.  Their bullpen is vastly superior to the Angels.  I would feel confident about having Boston’s line up face sorry-ass-excuse-for-a-closer, Brian Fuentes (Boston is hitting .412 against him, and he sports an 8.10 ERA and a WHIP over 3.0), than the Angels having to come from behind against the best closer in baseball, and resident jerk-off and lord of fairy-dance, Jonathon Papelbon.

Red Sox in 4