Yeah we suck, what else do you want me to say?

After so many years of underachieving, it certainly couldn’t get any worse, right?  So when UCLA brought in alumni and supposed offensive genius Rick Neuheisel in 2008, and contracted the most respected offensive mind in the college game in the last 10 years in Norm Chow to be offensive coordinator, UCLA was certain to rebound. It would take a couple years, but with these two gurus recruiting, certainly UCLA would be back, and be able to grapple with USC for bragging rights in Southern California and Pac-10 supremacy.

A couple years later, the doo-doo it’s the fan at USC.  Due largely to former athletic director Mike Garrett and over-rated running back Reggie Bush’s arrogance (and to an extent former head coach Pete “The Cheat”  Carroll and his ridiculous attempt at trying to pull the plausible deniability), sanctions came down on USC rivaling that of the U.N. on Iran.  USC, facing more turmoil than Charlie Sheen and his porn family, tried to calm the fan base by luring Norm Chow away from UCLA, and back to SC where he was able to showcase his offensive genius a national level.  Chow turned down considerably more money to stay with UCLA.  There was much speculation about Chow not being able to call his own plays and being subservient to the far lesser talented USC coach Lane Kiffin, but for whatever the reason-call it honoring your word- Chow stayed at UCLA.  He was rewarded with a contract extension.

So its now 3 years later, and the Bruins are coming off their worst season in 21 years (remarkably, it’s tied with 2008, also under Neuheisel).  So what do they do?  Leave Norm Chow in limbo after they signed him to an extension before the year, and make it uncomfortable enough that he negotiates a buy out and leaves for Utah.  That is the equivalent of the high school nerd landing the hot cheerleader, and when she has the chance to run off with the football star, she stays with the nerd, only to have said nerd cheat on her. Granted, UCLA finished 103^rd in total offense and 116^th in passing offense.  Considering there are only 120 division 1 schools, yeah, that sucks more harder than Hefner’s “Girls Next Door”. I’d like UCLA athletic director Dan Guerrero and Slick Rick to explain to everyone how they thought it a good idea to enter the recruiting season with no offensive or defensive coordinator.  The result?

Landing only 1 ESPN top 150 recruit in QB (97^th overall)

"Yeah, its kind of tough to recruit with no coaching staff. But don't worry. I'm Slick Rick."

As spring football approaches, UCLA looks to enter the season with their worst team in at least 10 years. The continuous regression of the program makes its supporters want to vomit.  Bruin fans can make fun of their cross town rivals all they want and question their character, but it didn’t stop USC from pulling in the #4 recruiting class in the country, even though they are still not bowl eligible, and still losing down scholarships for the next 2 years.

The fact also is that after so many people called for his head, not since Bob Toledo was head coach has UCLA at least had an identity. They were at least fun to watch, and while the defense was porous, their spectacular offense and gimmick play calling almost always ensured they were going to be in the game, and it would be exciting.

"If you all want a new coach, let me hear ya make some noise!"

Slick Rick better get the SS Minnow of a football program in Westwood righted, and call Digable Planets to try to get the “Rebirth of Slick” happening, or he could be gone.  And with the lack of players and a recruiting class that virtually guarantees difficulty in winning for years to come…I never thought I would say this…but please bring back Karl Dorrell.

With the real Slick Rick, UCLA might have a more productive offense.

Eventually, it’s got to come to an end.  When it does, the fans, players, and everyone who declare their allegiance to whatever power that falls, should acknowledge their greatness, and say thank you. But making excuses, deflecting commentary about what really happened, and trying to make the rest of the viewing population take part in a game of semantics is perhaps more embarrassing than the loss itself.

Case in point:  USC’s dismissal from BCS and Pac-10 championship consideration after their second embarrassing conference loss in 3 games.  This time, at the hands of perennial loser, but now much improved Stanford.

Stanford pummeled USC 55-21 in front of their home fans at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on November 14th.  After escaping with a win over lowly Arizona State the week before, Trojan fans instant recall of a 48-20 onslaught at the hands of Oregon 2 weeks ago was ever present.  In the last 2 weeks USC tallied won unimpressive victory by hanging on against a weak team, and the other 2 games resembled a whore waiting for the ship to dock at the harbor, as she anxiously waited to get owned in the ass by about 10 sailors when the ship disembarked.

Perhaps more telling than the embarrassing losses is some of their wins. Vegas had the Trojans a 44 point favorite in week 4 against one of the worst teams in college football in Washington State.  After putting up a 20 spot in the first quarter, the game was virtually even the rest of the way, with the Trojans outscoring the lowly Cougars 7-6 over the final 3 quarters.  By the way, the Cougars are 87th nationally in total defense. In week 9, they held on against the sorry Sun Devils of Arizona State, in which they eeked out a 5 point victory and managed only 1 offensive touchdown against the 117th ranked defense in the country.

It’s so funny how USC fans are attempting to deflect their punishment.  Then there’s all the excuses of the injuries and that they are starting freshman quarterback.  Guess what?  It’s not anyone else’s fault that a true freshman is the best you have at the position.  And the true freshman didn’t allow 613 yards to Oregon and 469 yards to Stanford in a 2 week period. Many people are trying to spew nonsense such as Harbaugh going for two late in the game ruined a great victory for Stanford.  “Now all anyone remembers is that they went for 2 when the game was well in hand”, I’ve heard SC apologists cry.

Wrong.  They remember your team getting pounded like a hooker that needs to pay her rent in 2 days.

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