A little after 5:30 pm on Wednesday, January 13th, 2010, Lane Kiffin took the podium in Heritage Hall and spoke into the mic, his first press conference as head coach of the University of Southern California.  “To be here today, I’m extremely fortunate”.  That’s the understatement of the f#@&ing century, and we’re only 10 years into it.

Lane Kiffin has somehow parlayed failure, before being rescued by mediocrity, into 3 coaching gigs in the last 4 years (each one seemingly superior to the prior), thanks to having good people around him. Senile Al Davis (who is beginning to look more sane thanks to Kiffin) hired him away to be a first time head coach…anywhere.  Kiffin sported a .333 winning percentage, though in his defense, it was the Raiders.  Still, he was fired, and somehow got hired at a national power program at the University of Tennessee, replacing a legend, where they have had 3 head coaches in 30 years.  Kiffin, the last, was there only 14 months.

Kiffin jumped into the toughest conference in America, openly taking on conference rival and defending National Champion Florida and coach Urban Meyer.  Kiffin even went so far as to accuse Meyer of recruiting violations and cheating, which was inaccurate, before racking up 6 NCAA violations himself.  Not seeming to know or care about the NCAA rule book and moving on to USC, a program that may incur sanctions for things he did when he was there, would seem to be a recipe for disaster.

Click here to view the embedded video.

If it was Kiffin by himself.

However, Kiffin comes in a package.  A package that contains two other great coaches (One of which, Ed Orgeron, was reportedly calling the recruits he brought to Tennessee and told them to now come to USC-a classless move), thereby increasing his own value. A package that will no doubt convince recruits to come to USC, just when it looked like the program was imploding faster than David Hasselhoff at a local drinking hole.  And one of those great coaches is revered defensive coach Monte Kiffin, Lane’s dad.  Continuing to get by on his daddy’s merit is one way Lane was hired at Tennessee.  A national power program wouldn’t normally hire a young coach who had never coached in college, and who’s only head coaching was a 5-15 record.  Lane Kiffin now seems to have achieved one of the signs of the football apocalypse:  Making Al Davis look completely likeable. Kiffin has gone from success as an assistant to failing on his own, to mediocrity with a hand-picked staff that is far more talented.  He moves on to USC with that staff, and his own ego-driven self-delusion.

Seeing Kiffin the night of Tuesday, January 12th, in a 60 second self-congratulatory monologue before scurrying away like a coward, the fear in his face and body language was more than distinguishable.  Knowing the Lynch mob wasn’t too far behind; Kiffin briefly rattled on about how he was proud of what he did and worked hard every day.  Then he slithered away, where he must have had a chopper waiting with blades churning, needing to be extracted from a hot LZ.  It was reminiscent of Mussolini in Dongo, trying to find a way to escape.  Or Ceausescu in Bucharest and then Targoviste.

Unlike those sociopaths, Kiffin did get away.  Kiffin is the loudmouth kid in the gang who loves to start trouble, as long as he has his boys around him to protect him.  But one thing is for sure.  If SC falters again, not even little Laney’s supporting cast will be good enough to save him from the axe.

And after Pete Carroll fails in the NFL (again), look for his prodigal return.  It should only be a couple years.

Damage control? Too late.

Coach Urban Meyer and quarterback Tim Tebow have something in store for Lane Kiffin and the Vols

Lane Kiffin obviously hasn’t read the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.  A son of a highly respected and long tenured defensive coach Monte Kiffin, Lane is largely thought of as being handed the greatest coaching gigs at a young age without ever having to prove himself, just because he is Monte’s son.  He became the USC offensive coordinator after Norm Chow was unceremoniously run out of town.  With Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart and other great weapons, and with Kiffin merely inheriting Chow’s genius architecture of offense, he was able to parlay that 1 year tenure in that cush position into an NFL head coaching job with the Oakland Raiders, even over more qualified candidates.  With this track record of getting things handed to him, it’s no wonder he opened up his yap in the worst way possible, inviting a beating that would make the Gooch’s beating of Arnold Jackson look tame.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Certainly, no one can Blame Kiffin for trying to create a buzz about the program.  Once a national power, Tennessee’s 5-7 atrocity last season resulted in the removal of coaching legend Phil Fulmer and the hiring of Kiffin.  So it was interesting how when the program is in the worst shape it’s been in well, maybe, ever, he decides to go after the King of the mountain.  What better way to generate some attention than to pick on the biggest kid on the block?  The problem is, when you do that, you better be able to handle yourself, because the biggest kid on the block is likely to pile drive your dome in the dirt, then spit on you when he’s done.  This would indicate why Tennessee is a 30 point underdog this weekend as they head to the Swamp, in what may be the best definition of “Lambs to the slaughter” we’ve seen in years.

It’s probably going to get ugly, and perhaps the best indication of that is the eerie quiet that is coming out of Gainesville.  All the “no comment” and “we’ve moved on” verbiage from Florida certainly seems like the quiet before the storm, likely to be a category 5 hurricane unleashed on the Vols.  And with perhaps the best player in college football history taking the attack on his coach personally, Tim Tebow said in a statement Monday, “”I don’t like anyone talking about coach (Urban) Meyer”.  As happy as Gator fans are that the current regime has not behaved with the same arrogance that the Steve Spurrier regime did ( running up the score and then not winning the big game), you can certainly expect to see a blast from the past this weekend.  Look for a 40-50 point margin of victory here, just like the Old Ball Coach would do.

UPDATE:
It’s on! Even after a much closer game than most people expected and maybe even wanted, the war of words seems only to be heating up, led by the coaches. When asked why exactly the Gators didn’t blow out Tennessee by at least 30 points, as Vegas oddsmakers predicted, Florida coach Urban Meyer said his objective was just to win. According to Meyer, a conservative play calling scheme by Tennessee impressed upon Meyer that the Vols didn’t want to win, and would just try to keep it close, and thus allowed for Meyer to keep a leash on his dogs instead of turning them loose. “When I saw them start handing the ball off, you didn’t feel like they were going after the win,” said Meyer to reporters the day after the game. “They wanted to shorten the game. I remember looking out there and there’s 10 minutes left in the game and there’s no no-huddle, they are down, I think it was 23-6, and (there’s no) urgency.”
He also went on to say that 3 of his own players were battling flu-like symptoms during the week leading up to the game.

It didn’t take long for Kiffin to fire back. When told of Meyer’s comments about his teams possible illness, and asked if Tennessee players had the same affliction, Kiffin quipped, “I don’t know. I guess we’ll wait and after we’re not excited about a performance, we’ll tell you everybody was sick.”

Its on…Do we really have to wait till next year?